How’s your vision? Would you say it’s quite good or would you say it was bad? If we were talking about literal eyesight than you wouldn’t want to depend on me for anything without my glasses because my vision is actually quite poor. But no, today we’re figuratively discussing our vision or how much or how well we pay attention to others.
The definition of the word visionary means to think about or plan the future with imagination or wisdom. Synonyms for the word being: insightful, perceptive, and discerning. Can you use these words to describe yourself as a friend or your friends? And I’m not trying to call anyone out by writing this, I learned this lesson too. I recently had to look at myself and reflect on what kind of a friend I was.
As mentioned in a previous post (I don’t remember which one), my health has been changing lately. And with it came changes to my daily routine, what activities I could do, and even the way I thought. I had to grasp the realization that I couldn’t do what I once did. During this transition, I started to create expectations of others, not taking into consideration that they had their own life to live.
Someone once told me, that when you are in the height of your emotions and pain it can feel like a box. And depending on how long you dwell on your own suffering that box can get smaller. This box can become so small that all you can see is yourself and the problems you face. I found this to be true. At the time, I felt like I had no one around me and that wasn’t true at all.
Once I realized that I was in a box, I started to look for ways to break out. Instead of waiting for my friends to come to me, I went to them. One of my favorite sayings is, “Everyone has a story. Sometimes we just need to read it.” Being perceptive of others let me see that they were suffering and going through something just as much as I was. And if they wouldn’t come to me, I needed to take the first step and go to them.
If you have nothing to your name, you have your time to give. You have a shoulder to cry on. If you are a visionary friend you will be able to notice that something is wrong with your friend and ask them about it. It’s hard for some to take the initiative to bring up what’s bothering them, ask first.
Being a friend is a two-way street. If we want someone to be there for us in our time of need, we have to be there for them.
- We don’t want to be a Taker– Someone who should be seeing a psychiatrist instead of calling you on the phone about their problems. They take your time, they take emotionally but never give anything in return.
- Or, the Non-Follow Through– The friend that says they will be there when you need them, but never shows up.
- The 3-Way Caller– Always asking another friend how you or someone else is doing instead of calling that person directly.
- Be the Visionary Friend– someone who takes the initiative to ask about the welfare of their friends. Someone who is there when needed. Someone who notices when something is wrong.