This will probably be the quickest blog post I will ever write up. But I think that also adds more importance to why the story must be told. I’ve been living a lie and I’ll be writing this post to explain it. My hope is that by doing so, others will know that it’s okay. A couple weeks ago, I was diagnosed with an Autoimmune Disease. It wasn’t until yesterday that I realized that what I thought was acceptance was actually false. I had created this bubble of denial around myself.
#MyHealthJourney| False Acceptance & Denial
False Acceptance & Denial
I have this really bad habit of telling people that I’m okay even when I’m not. When we got the Autoimmune Hepatitis diagnosis a couple weeks ago, there was a rush of questions from family and friends. And almost immediately, I put on my “I’m okay, don’t worry about me” hat. The crazy thing is, it’s not even a defense mechanism. Everyone is struggling with something so I would rather not be the bearer of bad news by telling you what’s going on with me. I’m just being honest, but this is also where I made my mistake.
I started to live in this role all the time. And it got to the point that I psyched myself into believing it. I completely bypassed the stages of acceptance and denial. I went straight to ignorance. People would ask me if I looked up information about my condition. No. Do I know what foods I should be eating? No. What do I know about Autoimmune Hepatitis? Not much.
Reality Smacked Me In The Face
I had an appointment with my Pulmonologist yesterday, I never went. He’s supposed to give me the results of my latest heart monitor and may be referring me to a Cardiologist. During the night, it finally hit me that I wasn’t ready to receive more bad news. I needed to accept the news that I had received previously before I could move forward.
Health & The mE Project
I put this post in the Categories, #MyHealthJourney, and the mE Project. That was done for a reason. I added in the mE Project because I want to get back to writing post for motivation, encouragement, and energy. Today I shared something personal, not only for encouragement but to help anyone who may be going through the same thing.
In so many words, I want to say it’s okay to be selfish. Not in every man for himself kind of way, but putting yourself first when it matters. In my case, I should have taken the time to meditate on the matter to understand what’s happening to me. I did not do that. But you don’t have to make the same mistakes that I did. You don’t need False Acceptance & Denial.